Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

What's in the Box!!!??? - ATS - 7.9.24

Hand pouring white wine into a glass from a BIB - bag in box

Photo: Ole Schwander / iStock / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

For a second day in a row I find myself chronicling the Angi Taylor ailments like I'm some kind of journalist steeped deep in a war. However, unlike that guy on the front lines, I'm in the comfort of my own home thinking of clever ways to make fun of Angi's failing health so it's a good trade off. That said, it's no secret that most of us are either old or getting to the point of being old enough that our various health maladies consume our conversation (even young/old man Marris is in that boat.) As for granny Taylor, she made a scheduled visit to the doctor yesterday after her eye doctor told her she had "blood pressure eyes." After giving her a squeeze, it turned out Angi's blood pressure was absolutely fine but the real concern is her cholesterol. Now, it should be noted that she has "familia" cholesterol so even if she made the right choices like being a vegetarian for 15 years and a vegan for a time, she's still a mess and has been since she was 13. The same can be said for Marris so he absolutely understood where Angi is coming from. To get a better feel for just how bad she is, Angi's normal cholesterol is 316 and the proper should be under 200. As for her LDL (aka the bad kind,) hers is 237 and it should be under 100. In other words, we should start prepping the coffin choices because Angi's arteries are basically made of wax. To offset this though, Angi has now been placed on a statin which she'll have to take forever but hopefully it will keep her from stroking out or having a heart attack on air. This is also not a bad thing because she has wanted to be on one for a long time seeing as this is genetic and her grandfather had 3 strokes that led to him getting dementia so the fear is valid (unlike 89% of her other nonsense.) As for the secondary treatment Angi was served, that honor belongs to Cologuard, the at-home colonoscopy kit. Obviously, there was a confusion on how she actually goes about taking the test (we would learn from a roadie in a secondary segment,) but we do know it involves Angi giving her UPS man a box of poop (which is probably better than the half drunk bottle of wine she gave him for Christmas last year.) While Marris lamented the poor UPS man that has to handle Angi's orange sherbert scoops, Angi talked about how she had sworn that her pooping in a box days were over (more on that in the secondary segment offshoot.) Either way, our horse looks like she still has a bit more life left in her but you know, tick tock.

Add On: As I said though, there was an addition to this main point when roadie Rachel explained her Cologuard test saved her life. Angi was able to discover that she does not need to actually poop straight in a box but can use a strainer or go fishing for the remains of her day in the toilet apparently. This all took her back when she used to be a drug mule but you know, she got out of that life ages ago and we look ahead. Rachel's test revealed that she had colon cancer but it was caught early enough that surgery kept her from needing chemo and she is doing well now (outside of yearly screenings.)

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Outside of Angi, we got a fun mixed bag of other topics to tackle (I'm so clever) this morning. We kick this section off (tee hee) with a look at the place you eat where you work. Personally, Angi would probably punt (zing!) the iHeart kitchen but Marris is okay with it for the most part. While no one is throwing flags (ha) at iHeart serving up chips, granola, water, soda, tea, liquid cheese, fresh fruit and a random assortment of candy in a bowl, it could probably be better. However, unlike the NFL (now you see where that was going,) we don't have time to survey every worker to get an honest opinion if the Uncrustables are just enough to satisfy their needs. The NFL though went forward and checked in with each player to grade the cafeteria of their training facilities. As Marris pointed out, these are world class athletes who should probably have chefs but as we'll see, that is not the case. When asked to pick without knowing, he landed on the Cardinals which was close as they scored a "D" and came in 28th of 32. The worst overall though was the Bengals who scored a legendary "F-." They apparently have multiple microwaves to deal with their food from home!!! They also have Gatorade coolers that double as a fridge and are used for storing their bagged lunch. The best overall is the Dolphins with an "A" followed by the Eagles who also got an "A." The bottom row is Cardinals, Ram, Saints, Chargers and Bengals. This, of course, led us to wonder how we could possibly improve Halas Hall as we don't know what they're feeding our players but it is not enough to get them where we want them to be. Plus, it has to be bad enough when you see them being out of weight because they are hitting up Arby's for the 5 for $145 sandwiches. If we could get our hands on their plans and maybe spice them up with some of the iHeart offerings, maybe a Chicago team could actually do something and stop disappointing us every 5 seconds.

Onward to the Daily Discussion Topic where Angi is finally letting the dudes get a moment to shine (she normally spends her time hating them all morning.) Past research has shown that guys love chick flicks and there tends to be at least one that they have a fondness for. The reason she mentioned this was because it was announced that 18 years later, The Devil Wears Prada is getting an unnecessary sequel. With Meryl Streep on board, Anne Hathaway a maybe and Emily Blunt out, this is something everyone totally was asking for (thanks Hollywood!) Since the floor was turned over to the men though for this one, we started with Marris. His favorite chick flick is Mean Girls as it is clever and has a ton of one liners. Prison Tattoo's favorite is She's the Man with now reformed mess Amanda Bynes. As for myself, I'm partial toward Love Actually but even being the OG gay on the show, my love of horror reigns over all. Right, this is a shorter lead in due to being specific so let's go right to the Request Line for more dudes telling us what they dig. Larry loves Steel Magnolias (Drink Your Juice Shelby!) and Angi was screaming. Marris has never seen it so that definitely needs to be corrected immediately. Dan loves Clueless and had no idea it was a chick flick until his dude friends good on him for liking it. Martin loves A Walk to Remember and apparently Marris loves tacos (wink wink.) Wayne said Bridesmaids. Nick went with Return to Me, featuring Angi's two irl friends totally Jim Belushi and Bonnie Hunt. Kevin went with Bring It On. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Finally, Angi is tired of being bullied by Gen Z but it seems that this morning, the tables are turning for once. Sure, we're old and some of us have to turn down the music to see better but the oldest Gen Z kids are now hitting their late 20's and starting to have those life regret realizations. The actual issue for them is tattoo regret which is currently trending on Tiktok as wedding season approaches and these Gen Z girls are getting married finally. Angi, for example, got married at 35 and she had that Tweety Bird tattoo removed as fast as possible because she was not getting married with a giant bird on her back. While these new brides are venting, Angi turned it on Marris to ask if he regretted any of his Ninja Turtles sleeve or tribal tattoos. He loves them and even though he got his first at 18, which is the regret one most people have, he would get rid of none. Prison Tattoo, on the other hand, gets his namesake from a bad tattoo done by a friend and he, like the Gen Z kids, regrets it.

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: Def Leppard vs. Journey

Current Champion: Marris (2x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Wheel in the Sky" by Journey

Marris' Song Choice: "Armageddon It" by Def Leppard

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: The Roadies

When you win tickets from the station, please note you will receive them the week of the show so you can stop calling us and asking where they are every day. Now back to Angi being betrayed by everyone.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"I swear when I came up off the streets that I would never poop in a box again." - Angi

"Ohhh, Marris loves taco." - Angi

"I have no tea, no tits!" - Angi


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