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This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Welcome to the brightest show this side of Times Square (not brains obviously, I'm talking about lighting.) That's right, we are coming right out the gate with a take so hot, you'd think it was going to live forever (a little teaser for the other part of these notes.) So Michael earned his first taste of Angi insanity when he suggested that the world needs a new Mr. Rogers and of course, this upset our unhinged hostess greatly. After all, there is a place in the world for these great souls like Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross (shout out to his up and coming replacement, Yazan Spice.) Anyway, Angi sighed because she grew up in a world of trust no one and more so, do not trust them if they seem too wholesome for this world. Buckle up kids, we're entering slander territory for her and libel for me for writing out her deranged word vomiting. You see, she feels as though there is something innately sinister about that deceased good guy next door Mr. Rogers. After all, who in their right mind as a parent would let their kids go hang out next door with a single man who has a bunch of puppets in his house (don't worry, trolley gets it too.) That one kid who was always there feeding the fish, what was Mr. Rogers fed him afterwards! Marris, one of the two people in the studio who knew that this was a TV show and not real life (as I'm assuming Angi assumed,) said that nothing happened. Well, Angi was not buying that and she continued down the path of slanderation. We weighed how he had a long career and nothing was said but Angi said it was more about not besmirching his name (which makes know sense because everyone loves to cancel others.) Angi directed her point then to saying intern HP knows if someone is bad and even though Marris explained that nothing has ever been said about Fred Rogers, Angi pulled out her next unhinged point. It is not okay to send kids next door to play with a single man's fish, puppets and train which I'm assuming were all supposed to be euphemisms. As she pointed out, he was trying to pull a choo choo train on you. This then transitioned to coming for the mailman and Mr. Rogers "allegedly" (I'm not going down for this one Angi) having a van with a Playstation and candy in it. She made a point saying that whenever someone is too good to be true, there's always a scandal attached to it like how Mr. Beast is currently going down or remember how Mother Teresa would beat those girls. The moment that sweater went on and those kids came over, his pants grew three sizes that day. As Marris explained how all scandal ridden children come to light like those Barney brats and the Nickelodeon kids who got their toes sucked by that disgusting pig showrunner. No one has come out against Mr. Rogers but Angi explained they are all secretly in a group with the Michael Jackson kids and they're all trying to just protect his legacy. We ended this non-stop train of getting us plenty of mad people and phone calls from estates by having Angi go after Bozo as well even though she had to be reminded that his name was not "that scary ass clown." In fact, she doesn't trust any adults in a costume that entertains kids (and this is after she got felt up by Southpaw on Friday and plotted a threesome with Benny the Bull and Tommy Hawk.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Right, assuming these notes aren't being added to some court case evidence sheet just yet, let's move on to more ridiculous stuff from this morning. It turns out that our roadies are going to live forever. Now, I should note that living forever is a statement and not reality but if you buy into anything that you hear on this clown car of a show, that's on you. Anyway, a study was done that showcased people who are more attractive tend to live longer. While Angi threw around the term immortal as though we're all vampires, you can look like Brad Pitt and smoke, drink, not exercise and you're probably going to drop dead. If you're an uggo though, just keep in mind that you're screwed and it doesn't matter what you do so you might as well jump in a coffin now. Now, how this incredibly stupid stat was determined though was the real prize of this segment. People in Wisconsin were given yearbooks of people from 1957 and told to find the hot ones. They then showcased that these hotties and baddies, who are all in their 80's now (don't quote me, that was show math,) are still alive. I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes, it doesn't matter what the question is, the answer is yes. Anyway, ugly men apparently died a year earlier than hot guys and ugly women died two years earlier. Marris, always the voice of reason in the studio, was expecting something substantial like 20 years or Angi's initial claimed immortality. Michael tried to add that maybe the hotties were exercising to maintain their hot appearance but Angi shattered that with hot people can die at 30. Finally, we used some actual logic to point out how genetics and lifestyle play a big factor in how long you live and that if the grim reaper who looks like a frog (shout out Prison Tattoo) is coming for you, you're pretty much screwed. Oh and as an additional piece of Michael lore, he does not have a grim reaper tattoo (but Prison Tattoo does.)
Right, now that the insanity is behind us, let's sit down and grab a slice of the Daily Discussion Topic. As we've said, Michael has lived in the city for like two weeks and we want to show him all the things there are to see and do. For example, even though Angi has been here for ages, she has never rented a pontoon. Michael, on the other one, grabbed one the other day and drove it on the river to watch the Blue Angels. There was a little back and forth about driving it and where it can and can't go but you know, who cares. Another fun fact is that everyone can drink on it just not the person driving it so keep that in mind next time you want to go get hammered. Obviously though, to become a true Chicagoan, there are places you need to eat, drink and visit and so we sought to hear from the roadies things he needs to do. Obviously, we decided to not mess with him so the text that suggested going to the "Wild 100's" was tossed in the trash and Michael already survived Lower Wacker on his first day here. We sought the best Italian food (his favorite,) pizza, beef, tacos and places to just hang out. Weirdly enough, Angi and Marris did not offer options in this back and forth (I'm assuming the blinding lights were destroying Angi mentally) and I don't leave the house so we went right to the Request Line. Laurie said to do tourist things because even though they are made for tourists, it is stuff the city has to offer. That said, her suggestion was hitting up the observation deck at The Sears Tower (yeah, we're not calling it by its other name ever.) Jerry said to eat at Tony's Beef on 71st and Pulaski and he himself is there at least once a month. Tow Truck Driver Ken said he needs to have a Ricobene's breaded steak but also added not to eat it before you go for a run (because that mess will give you IBS.) Dean said Kuma's Corner has amazing burgers and an even better ambience. Also, check out the jalapeno poppers there. He also said to go to our beloved Weiner Circle and get a chocolate shake but as Angi said, they taste best if you go late at night. Garrett said hop on the I90 and experience some rush hour traffic. Barry said he needs to do a shot of Malört on air which apparently is going to happen tomorrow morning now. I hope Michael enjoys the taste of furniture varnish. Pamela said he needs to have a Chicago style dragged through the garden dog at Gene & Jude's. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, Angi has been married for forever (15 years) and Michael recently got married (poor Marris.) Anyway, an Instagram dating guru influencer (see: fake made up nonsense) has said if you don't say "I love you" three months into a relationship, you should dump your partner. Michael said it took him 6 months to say it and Angi can't remember how long it took her (and we're lucky she can even remember our names tbh.) Marris said that 6 to 9 months works but the idea we were more bent on attached to is that it should be something that is reciprocated and not tossed out for the sake. The idea is to get feelers out there, make sure that it is the right time and attaching a time limit too seems problematic. While we went back and forth about the proper times, Angi added that she has never said it first as she sees it as a power move to be the person who doesn't say it. Jay the Straight said it at one month in and then proposed 6 months later because they were dating at 35 and (tick tick.) At that point, you know what you want and they didn't have time to lollygag. Marris is the same at 37 so expect him to spiral into something the moment he properly clicks with a girl. As for the three months until I love you, at an older age that could technically make sense but if you do it at like 21, you're nuts.
Request Wars 4.0
Theme: Green Day vs. Smashing Pumpkins
Current Champion: Marris (1x)
Marris' Song Choice: "American Idiot" by Green Day
Michael's Song Choice: "Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins
Winner: Michael
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Dogs
You know damn well Marris is upset because he hates dogs but Angi had a list of things that scare dogs the most to go over. This included fireworks, the vet, vacuums, sudden movement, balloons popping, a loud fart, the kettle whistling and opening the fridge door. Angi's dogs are terrified of the vacuum in case you wanted to break in and murder her and Michael's dog is afraid of the iPhone text alert. Angi also thinks dogs are dumb (takes after their owner I see) and Angi and Michael both sing to their dogs.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I'm an Instagram dating guru, I'm an influencer." - Angi
"He (Mr. Rogers) was trying to pull a choo choo train on you." - Angi
"If you're entertaining kids as an adult with a costume, I don't trust it." - Angi