Despite what your mom and dad told you or what you tell your own kids, parents really do have a favorite child, according to new research. Sure, they’ll deny it when pressed by their kids to say which sibling it is, but a new meta-analysis of 30 previous studies involving close to 20-thousand participants suggests they do have a favorite, and it tends to be a specific type of child.
The new study, led by Alex Jensen with Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, combed through previous research to see how factors like birth order, temperament, personality and gender influence parents’ favoritism. They focused on five ways favoritism can manifest: overall treatment, positive interactions, negative interactions, how much parents spend on a child and control. And their research reveals:
- Both moms and dads tend to favor daughters slightly more than sons.
- But personality matters, too, as kids who are agreeable and responsible tend to get more favorable treatment.
- Younger siblings also tend to get more favorable treatment, but older siblings get their own kind of special treatment in the form of more freedom and autonomy.
- While parents may recognize their bias, the good news here is that the kids usually don’t.
Jensen points out that most parents connect more easily with one child over another, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve picked a favorite. “Sometimes parents get so concerned about treating their kids the same that they may overlook individual needs,” he explains. “We’re not suggesting parents feel guilty; instead, parents can look at this research and use it as encouragement to look at places where they can improve, without going to extremes.”
Source: Scary Mommy