This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Buckle up kids, you're in for one today as our esteemed queen Mrs. Angi Taylor, was robbed yesterday. She feels violated, she feels wronged, she feels like these monsters took her piece of mind and now she can't enjoy being home alone without her husband to annoy her in her cramped flop apartment. That's right, a thief (or roving band of thieves) struck in broad daylight and took from our woman. I, for one, am offended but honestly, she shouldn't be too upset. After all, what was taken from her was something she hated anyone so in a sense, perhaps this was a good thing. As you will recall, a few months back, Angi had a near death incident (I'll give you a moment to process through all of them because that is a near daily occurrence on this show) involving falling off her bike. Remember she went head over handlebars, almost fell off a bridge, her eyebrow has never been the same, etc. Yes, the bike of death that she mangled ten seconds after deciding to bike too and from work every day while she lives in the flop apartment. She had been meaning to take the mangled mess of metal to the shop to have it fixed but she's been busy going to Vegas, haunted houses and lying on the couch wine drunk. For this reason, in conjunction with her small cramped flop apartment, she has had issues keeping the wreckage in her house. To remedy this, she decided to chain it up with a titanium lock and put it out front of the building. As you all should assume you knew where this was going, someone decided to steal from the bike. I mention from as the lock did it's just and restrained the frame but everything else was taken from it. That thing was cleaned, bones and all and had the tires, on board computer and handlebars taken from it. The frame, seat, pedals and chain were all left behind because that was either too hard to carry or too tied down to snatch so that's something I guess (to see a pic, check out all our socials.) This follows up to the time that her bike was stolen when she lived in West Town after she hid it in her yard. She never did discover the culprits of this theft but she assumed it was her neighbors as they had a ton of bike parts scattered all over their yard. This, by the way, was the same neighbor that fed the pigeons that pooped on Angi's house and the one that hung up coats from the tree in their yard during the winter. This was in the once prestigious River North, in broad daylight mind you, how awful. Marris questioned how long the bike had been outside and the obvious answer was longer than it should have been. Angi's bigger shock came in how it was dismantled in broad daylight without anyone noticing, saying anything or apparently caring. Now the dilemma becomes what to do with the leftover husk. It's sitting in the apartment next to her luggage rotting and she gets sad looking at this hunk of metal junk. It had only been used for three months so she could easily replace the stolen parts but at the same time, maybe she should just get a new one. In the meantime, Marris was kind enough to offer us his Schwinn bike that has streamers and a basket on it (in case you're looking for the next one to steal.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Before I get back to more thieving nonsense that consumed the morning, let's pit stop at a topic that made me feel like I was on drugs. It all started innocently enough with Angi asking Marris if he washes his bananas. He washes his chicken, which you're not supposed to do because you just spread the germs from the chicken to the sink and instead, you could just let the pan/oven/etc burn them off. One thing that should be washed though is your banana (all of them, the one you eat, the one you stick in places, etc.) Now, if you're a weirdo you eat the peel as well but the reason you should wash your banana is the bacteria on the outside gets on your hands and mouth. We also learned from Marris that weirdos go from peel to meat (what?) We also learned that Marris eats his banana like a popsicle. Angi then wondered if water wipes away bacteria? (I told you this gets acid trippy) To alleviate the idea of the need to wash your banana, Marris explained he has never heard of anyone getting sick from bananas. He has heard about spiders on your bananas though. Angi chimed in about bugs on your lettuce and how that means it is good, non pesticide lettuce and you get added protein from eating the bugs. Anyway, back to things you should wash, apparently you're supposed to wash your avocados as well and it is more important to wash them than your banana. The difference being you cut into an avocado and you drag the knife in transferring the bacteria from the skin to the meat inside. Roadie Dan called in to say you wash your banana to keep the fruit flies from being attracted to it. Apparently the larvae are on the outside of the banana and that's how they appear (what is going on in this topic?) Angi explained she heard you're supposed to wrap the produce bag around the stem but washing is new. Dan, by the way, does not wash his chicken so shame on Marris. On top of all this nonsense, we learned there are larva everywhere, including on your right now. Marris followed up by adding that we inhale 20 spiders a year and tiny insects on a regular basis. Angi, one of irrational fear, always assumes that spiders are crawling on her at night and may lay eggs in her ear some day. If you read all of this with a straight face or understood what the hell was occurring without feeling like someone drugged you, then you are a better person than me.
Right then, since the pity party was all we were going to hear about/deal with this morning, it would only make sense that Angi's bike robbery would infiltrate the Daily Discussion Topic as well. Angi is sad, she has the "woe is me" sticker on so we have to just deal with it and move on until she forgets about it tomorrow. Since we couldn't stop talking about her stolen bike(s), we leaned on Marris to hear if he had ever had anything stolen. Back in school, Marris had his Gameboy stolen out of backpack which meant he lost 60 hours of Pokemon save data (guess he didn't end up catching them all.) Back to Angi, she went down the laundry list of things she had stolen which included 2 bikes, stuff taken out of her Jeep when she had one, her purse. That purse by the way was then shoved between a toilet tank and wall with the money lifted but nothing else, which was nice. Continuing on though for All About Angi Day, she also had someone steal her cell phone right off the table in a restaurant when she went to the bathroom and Jay the Straight wasn't paying attention. She had porch pirates steal her special medical bras that they ended up throwing in her neighbors yard when they realized what they were as well. Marris also had his favorite hat stolen once and had a secondary one thrown 20 yards away so it seems they have that in common. As for me, I've had miscellaneous things stolen from my house but my favorite was when someone stole a bottle of wine. I called them out on it and it mysteriously appeared in my mailbox an hour later. Honestly though, I'm sick of "Woe is Angi" so let's just go to the Request Line already and get some roadie input. Tammy had her really expensive polarized lens prescription driving sunglasses stolen and she is furious about it still. Levi said the Chicago Bears stole any hope that we'll ever get a win ever again. Tony was picked up on but apparently he was stolen while waiting so we moved on. Jimmy was robbed on the street right in front of his house. They stole his cell phone, keys and pot. Angi was beyond appalled that they stole his weed because she knows what it is like to be stolen from.... Courtney had her iPod stolen in high school. Johnny was robbed and all the windows in his van were busted out. The thieves took $3,000 in mechanic tools and his radio while also trashing his van. This is definitely not something you want to be woken up by the police for at 3 A.M. Kay had a friend of a friend break into her house and steal their Playstation, computer, jewelry but worst of all, her wedding ring. Everything that was stolen was gotten back aside from the ring and even though the guy is in jail now, 13 years later losing that ring still stings. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, at 1:20 P.M. today, a nationwide emergency alert will be sent out via radio, TV, phones and the like. The purpose of this is to make sure that the system works well and it will just be a brief thing. Of course, conspiracy theorists think that they are going to avoid this alert by leaving their phones off. The government wants to use this alert to actually activate the nanoparticles in our phone that have been transferred from it to our brains so they can take over and control us. Yes ... this is something people actually willingly think is going to occur. Just a heads up for our smart, beautiful roadies. There is nothing occurring outside of an emergency test so just ignore it like the rest of the rational minded people will do, continue on with your day and keep rocking out with us here on 95.5 (or else we'll make sure the nanodrones blow your head up when the government takes over!)
Request Wars 3.0
Champion: Angi (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Vasoline” by Stone Temple Pilots
Marris' Song Choice: "Nookie" by Limp Bizkit
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: The (309) Texter
He claimed that Angi deserved a win for all her hardships but tomorrow, The Byte Boys got Marris' back in Request Wars. We never realized Marris was in a gang and then Angi just made things a whole lot worse. He's totally winning tomorrow.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I don't mess with bunsen burners, okay." - Angi
"Wash your damn bananas and your avocados and your ass!" - Angi