Photo: Fernando Trabanco Fotografía / Moment / Getty Images
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Hump day is here and as we count down to a few days of utter insanity, know that the roadies are the real winners in all this. Today is the first of several wild occurrences including what I'm about to discuss, tomorrow's big move and the Marris birthday show on Friday to close out the week. However, we must not dwell on what is to come because in the present moment, there is a giant step forward coming today. That's right, after months of being stuffed into a one bedroom apartment with her suffering husband and two senile dogs, Angi is finally closing on her new house today. The timing could not be better because apparently the apartment is a literal crap hole that is falling apart but who cares as she no longer has to worry about it come tomorrow. Yesterday was the final walk through though and as she toured her forever (until she's not happy with it) space, Angi spotted her soon to be new besties over next door. I'm clearly not talking about the owners of the pigeon drug racing ring but the birds themselves, who were getting some skylights installed in their metal prison. Of course, Angi and Marris were both jealous that the rats with wings were getting skylights when neither of them even had them at their places. Angi though is already plotting her first interaction with the owners and what she should bring over as a "I live in the neighborhood now, things are about to get ratchet AF" gift for her flock of feathered friends. See, she figures buttering up the birds will get her in with the owners who will then include her in their (illegal in this state) activities. She assumed bird seed would be the optimal choice but Marris suggested that pigeons will usually eat anything on the ground like doughnuts or small dogs. Angi wants them to have the best diet so they can fly fast and win (her money, she wants them to win for her.) Marris tried to explain when these winged beasts are flying up from downstate Illinois, they're not stopping at fine dining. They're eating doughnuts or pizza on the ground, not caviar and Foie gras covered bird seed. Angi countered that they should not be eating at all since they are in a race. They should be going up high and be back in ten minutes since they fly as fast as planes (I'm not exaggerating by the way, she literally said that.) This also means that there is no time for them to hit up a port a potty which is why your car ends up covered in bird poop. In this regard, bird racing is like marathon running because the runners will poop themselves as well. Angi never pooped herself during her marathons but she would also get yelled at by her runner friends if she attempted to stop for water or even looked at a bathroom. Basically, this is the only time you're allowed to join the SYP club and get away with (bonus points if you're from Kenya.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
As it sometimes happens, the rest of these notes follow a pattern. Sometimes (almost always) when it occurs, it's fun stuff like nudity or drug usage but today, the rest of this concerns ways to entertain yourself like nostalgia recalling, disgusting food and good movies gone bad. Starting with the Daily Discussion Topic, Angi recalled the olden days of Chuck E. Cheese and how much it was looked forward to going there as a kid. For her though, she was more impressed with the place when it turned into a teen dance club at night called Widgets. Though you can still go to Chuck E. Cheese now, most of the visits are just an excuse to yell "Worldstar!" as you watch one parent beat up another with those mallets from the Whack a Mole game. One thing you won't see at the current internet darling is animatronics as all of them are being removed from the locations outside of one in California. Instead of capitalizing on the success of the (in my opinion mediocre) Five Nights at Freddy's movie craze, they are instead scrapping the terrifying stage band that was the nightmare of all kids at 5 years old. Though this trauma holds a special place in most memories, it split Angi and Marris down the middle. She thought they were scary as a kid but cool as an adult. As for Marris, he is still terrified of them which is weird because he also dresses like a Ninja Turtle. This was spun into the question of what are awesome things from our childhoods that no longer exist today? Angi continued to trauma mine, picking those metal slides that used to give you 5th degree burns at the playground. This turned into a deeper look at playgrounds in general which were death traps essentially that we somehow all survived. Adding my two cents in before hitting the Request Line, I had texted Angi and Marris in our premium gold star Worldstar sick beats only plus text thread that I remember being a kid and playing outside from the moment homework was done until the street lights came on during the summer and even then, staying out a little later without much hassle or issue. We felt safe and untouchable and for some reason, that does not seem to exist anymore today which speaks to either our ignorance of the past or a complete shift on what was into what is now. Onward though, we started with Jenny who talked about the McDonald's play place, the other playground from our childhoods. Who doesn't remember climbing inside Mayor McCheese's head or riding Birdie? Angi agreed they were the best but clearly the ones with ball pits were petri dishes of bacteria and hidden child predators. John said winter because as kids we used to have tons of snow and snow days and well it's almost thanksgiving and it's going to be 65 today. Mike chose the original Santa's Village and Kiddieland, which if you grew up in Chicago, you had gone to both tons. Mike's jam was the swing with the chain belt. Nicole picked the other animatronic hell aka Showbiz Pizza. Funny enough, that's where Mitzi Mozzarella used to work before she started dating Jay the Straight. Even more wild was the fact that Nicole had her Sweet 16 at a Showbiz. Travis from Florida said candy cigarettes (and yes, we noted the irony of all this.) Joanne said Toys R Us was like Disney World when she was a kid. Jerry said a shopping mall in Bolingbrook called Old Chicago that had an amusement park in it. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Next up, let's all go to the movies and look at ones that were ruined by one bad character in it. Apparently, much like one bad apple spoiling a bunch, one terrible performance can wreck a chance for an Oscar. Weirdly enough, Angi's first thought on the topic was ironically the first person to show up on the list.
- Tom Hanks in Elvis
- Mickey Rourke in Breakfast at Tiffany's
- Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (We had to detour here for a moment to explore the fact that Marris didn't hate Jar Jar as much as everyone else and though he felt he was overwhelming at first, he had evolved and gotten better by the third movie.)
- Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York (Angi loved her but Marris didn't remember her.)
- Jared Leto in Suicide Squad
- Kate Capshaw in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
- Rami Malek in No Time to Die
- Micah Sloat in Paranormal Activity
To cap this, Marris offered up Samuel Jackson in The Spirit, which was bad enough to make him walk out. Marris' other walkout movie was The King's Speech for which he got completely smashed prior to seeing and then fell asleep and after waking up in a drunken stupor, he also walked out. So, if you plan on dating Marris, get ready to drink up and then dig deep into this nonsense history film.
Finally, people are coming for the Lions Jameson Williams and demanding that he be fired for putting an Oreo McFlurry on a McDonald's McDouble. Sure, the wide receiver works hard but he needs to be traded for doing this wild meal. Since we don't judge, Marris made a point of saying he would try this sweet and savory treat but he would dip the burger and not throw the ice cream on it. Angi drew the line at dipping fries in a Frosty as opposed to ice cream on a burger. It should be noted that this guy came up with the flaming hot Cheetos with ground beef and canned queso. Obviously, the nutritional value of this is completely non-existent and a top tier athlete probably should not be eating like this but YOLO right? Speaking of wild football players, Patrick Mahomes has been wearing the same pair of underwear on game day for the last six years. Maybe we should start scanning the brains of all NFL players when stuff like this starts coming out.
Request Wars 3.0
Champion: Angi (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Best of Both Worlds” by Van Halen
Marris' Song Choice: "The Red" by Chevelle
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: People Who Own 2 Dishwashers.
Jay the Straight was in the studio and basically derailed this off the bat by burning his wife so hard, we could not bounce back. Needless to say, Jay the Straight is amazing and luckily, he probably deserves this toast because between Angi and Mitzi, he fits the toastee.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"You are now worried about what pigeons eat?" - Marris
"He's (Bentley) 6, he doesn't even have a job yet, he can't buy me anything." - Angi
"We gotta stop coming up with marketing ideas for other people." - Marris