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This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's Chainsaw Friday, we're celebrating Marris' birthday a week early, it's feeling like Fall outside, it's kind of a perfect day. Also perfect is national treasure Dolly Parton who has her first rock album out today. After saving us from covid and getting a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nod, she decided to actually do something about it to warrant the nomination. The album is a love letter to rock & roll and has a ton of rockstar guests on it so it only made sense to ask her the most rockstar thing she's ever done. Forget trashing a hotel room and throwing a TV out the window, Dolly decided to be even more fun and ridiculous. While taking a day off of filming a movie during a rainstorm, she and some of her friends went out and got drunk on margaritas. The hotel that was hosting them was a walk from the restaurant and on the way in the middle was Tom Jones house. On a dare, she ended up streaking through Tom Jones' front yard and apparently went unseen by him. In this day and age, there would be a 7 day TMZ video analysis from a Ring camera but apparently, there was no surveillance of the incident. Besides, if the footage did exist, it definitely would have appeared somewhere on the dark web because the girl has incredible cans. With that in mind, Angi decided to make a Daily Discussion Topic out of being a rockstar. Trimmed down, it was more about what was the most rock & roll or rockstar moment of the roadies life. For Angi, hers came freshman year of high school when her friend who lived across the street parents went out of town. There was another house just down the block that was always throwing unsupervised parties and so Angi thought of the most creative way to be the belle of the underage ball. She ended up breaking into her friend's house by climbing in through the basement window and then robbing the unlocked liquor cabinet blind. With all the bottles stashed away in a Santa's sack (I'm assuming,) Angi went to the other party (which also had the girl of the house she had just robbed partying at) and distributed liquor like she was the titular Christmas figure. Apparently to this day, no one knows it was Angi who robbed the house across the street (aside from everyone listening to the show and the podcast.) As for Marris, he grew sizes cooler in my book this morning when he revealed that he ended up smoking weed with the Deftones. Of course, other fans who were there decided to bring some of their son's music on CD for the band to hear. I know, it's gross so take a moment to throw up and then read some of the wild stuff that the roadies told us about on the Request Line. Anthony is a youngin at 21 and the biggest thing so far was cheating on a couple of tests in high school. Angi was not impressed and demanded that the young one get into much more insane things in the future, which might be hard because he's a chill weed guy. Casper, way back in 1991, had a neighbor next door move out. He left behind a pool table and when Casper and his friends broke in, discovered a fridge full of beer. They partied there for three days before discovering that the house belonged to an FBI guy and the place was eventually dusted for prints. Steven's friend's band once played in front of a crowd of 200 people so Steven got drunk, dressed as Santa and went on stage to cuss out the band and the audience. Willy stole a keg from a party with his friends, rented a boat on the river and became the river party boat for an evening. Bob had a house party when his mom was out of town when his friend brought over Metallica (an album, not the band) and he got his first taste of them, which changed his life. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
If you listened to the show this morning (or checked out the podcast,) you would know that we celebrated Marris' early birthday today (because his actual birthday falls on Black Friday this year and we're off all week next week.) Marris is turning 37 and so the studio was filled with Marvel, Star Wars and video game related balloons. Angi also got Marris amazing and impossible to find Spider-Man Adidas kicks which meant everything was perfect, right? Well, since we can't do anything on this show without it turning into a raging pile of steaming ... anyway, Angi decided to bring up a news story she saw yesterday. That's right, this morning we were treated to yet another Apple vs. Android fight this morning in the studio. However, this was apparently good news for us Android lovers as our friends may stop treating us like second class citizens next year. Apple, overlords of a garbage product, finally intend to stop sending through potato photos and video, mumbled audio and screwed up messages. The only thing they won't budge on is the blue text/green text bubbles that some people (Angi) take way too seriously. This trip down beat horse lane led us to discover that Marris was actually shamed during the iHeart festival by a boss for messing up the behind the scenes group chat for not having a blue text bubble. The boss then made a side text chat for Marris and a co-worker because much like Angi and her tribalism, unless you have a blue text bubble, you can't sit with her. Angi sees those of us who enjoy having features 10 years before Apple as outliers and serial killers. The experience also apparently got Marris uninvited to next year's iHeart festival as well. We capped this by Angi revealing she almost bought Marris an iPhone for his birthday which he would have appreciated but declined because he's smart. Angi then suggested he have two phones, one for those disgusting Apple people and use his Samsung as a burner for the real one bitches on the side.
Finally, yesterday was National Fast Food Day which means that crazy people like a psychologist came out of the woodwork to reveal what your fast food order at McDonald's says about you. Before going over what several choices mean, we explored Marris' order which is usually an extra value meal Big Mac w/ Hi-C Orange and a six piece nugget. As for Angi, she is ordering either a Big Mac or a cheeseburger. With their orders in, here are some of the offerings.
Big Mac - You're loyal, a traditionalist and opinionated. You are not one to keep up with the times.
Hamburger - You are a dull crowd pleaser who likes to go with the flow.
Quarter Pounder - You want the most bang for your buck and are not showy nor a pushover.
McNuggets - You are the life of the party, you have your friends back and like to let your inner child takeover.
Filet O' Fish - You are a picky eater who wants to look healthy. This led to Angi explaining though she likes to put tartar sauce on her burgers which led to a call out after she gave Marris ish for putting green peppers on his.
Happy Meal - If you're an adult ordering a Happy Meal, you embrace your inner child, are spontaneous and have an infectious sense of fun. Angi expected Marris to be a Happy Meal guy for this reason but Marris explained it's not enough food (true) and that there needs to be a husky Happy Meal. Kind of like a Mighty Kid Meal for adults with cheeseburgers and McNuggers.
We ended this by Angi saying she still wants the McDLT to come back and Marris would love the return of the Arch Deluxe.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Mon: Angi wanted to do a sing along at The Redhead Piano Bar
Choice: Jason had Angi decide to sing along to "Run Around" by Blues Traveler.
Result: After winning money at the casino, Angi decided that she wanted to actually get real drinks and so Angi dipped out of one degenerate filled hell to go to another. Entering The Redhead Piano Bar, Angi was thrilled at the idea of being able to enjoy some music with her overpriced drinks. However, the person playing knew Angi from the radio and offered her a song right off the bat. Feeling funny and a bit cheeky, Angi figured the perfect song for a sing along would be something that everyone knew. She asked the guy behind the piano to play "Run Around" and Angi got up on the stage. The first note of the song hit and Angi found herself disgusted, realizing that her joke was going to have be followed through. As the harmonica kicked in, Angi was disgusted but had to endure it. Unfortunately, the harmonica wasn't the only thing that was bad because when Angi opened her mouth, the singing caused everyone in attendance to boo her. To make up for it, Angi bought everyone a shot thinking it would calm the ire. However, continuing her inability to stop making bad decisions, she had bought everyone shots of Malört. Feeling that they had been insulted too many times that evening, the patrons revolted against Angi. Each harnessing a bottle, they went over and all proceeded to beat Angi to death with the bottles as the sound of the song continued to drift across the bar. (Dead)
Tue: Angi wanted to fight a dragon
Choice: Joe had Angi decide to partner up with Thomas Shelby to fight a dragon.
Result: After indulging in a watch of the first season of Game of Thrones, Angi was skeptical about getting into the rest of the seasons. To make sure though that she could overcome her fear of "cartoon" dragons, Marris set up Angi to actually have to go out and fight a dragon. Though this is insane, here at Don't Kill Angi, things that are illogical come to life with ease. After deciding to partner up with another fictional character Thomas Shelby, the duo stepped outside of a castle to fight an actual dragon. This dragon, it should be noted, was full of piss, vinegar and fire and did not intend to let Angi get anywhere past it. Swooping up and around, the dragon got ready and was looking to take on the twosome. However, Angi and Thomas Shelby had all but forgotten about their goal as the pair were playing a game of "I'll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours." So turned on by one another, Angi and Thomas Shelby were mid embrace when the dragon rolled its eyes and decided to burn them to a crisp. Pulling its head back, the dragon unleashed a blast of fire and set the two of them on fire. Remembering her school teaching, Angi hit the floor and stopped, dropped and rolled with Thomas Shelby on top of her and the fire that should have torched them instead was put out. (Alive)
Wed: Angi wanted to go topless in Chicago
Choice: Miguel had Angi decide to go topless at The Field Museum.
Result: With a weird version of August Autumn occurring in what should be close to meteorological winter, Angi decided to go out and embrace the weather. She also intended to embrace being topless after she had discovered on the radio show that morning that there were plenty of places where women being topless is not frowned upon. With her shirt over her head and the girls on full display, Angi drove herself over to The Field Museum. Stepping outside of the confines of the car, Angi felt a little self conscious but went with it. Walking into the museum, she got plenty of looks but Angi did not care. Approaching the first exhibit featuring a dinosaur almost as old as her, Angi waved her own t-rex arm back at it and was really having a good time. As Angi went to move forward to the next exhibit though, a sweet old lady appeared beside Angi. She explained to Angi that she was 85 years old and that her low hanging udders were better looking than Angi's chewed up gym socks. Disgusted at the sight of Angi's deflated balloons, the old crone pulled out her conceal and carry weapon and fired an entire clip into Angi's flattened sweater puppies. (Dead)
Thur: Angi needed another member for her apocalypse crew
Choice: Karen had Angi decide to add Khal Drogo to her apocalypse squad.
Result: It finally happened and everyone should have seen it coming, the apocalypse arrived after everyone accidentally consumed some tainted weed and the zombies started lining the streets. However, Angi was prepared to take on the masses of munchers and so she conjured up her technically a zombie himself boyfriend Khal Drogo to help her navigate the blood and brain soaked streets. With Marris, Jay the Gay, Jay the Straight, Prison Tattoo and HP in tow, the crew ventured out of the iHeart building and began the zombie onslaught. Everyone in the group was racking up impressive body counts aside from Angi, who was hanging back and trying to not get involved. Instead, she was drinking Jack Daniels and wondering how long her computer would stay charged so she could keep watching old episodes of Peaky Blinders. The group noticed this though and yelled at her, expecting her to help or they were going to feed her to the zombies as part of the escape plan. Knowing that she had a skill no one anticipated, Angi took one more swig of Jack Daniels and pulled out her BIC lighter. Running past the group, she went face first into a crowd of thousands of zombies. Turning the lighter on, Angi brought it to her face and used her alcohol soaked breath to blow fire across the waves and waves of zombies. In minutes, all of the zombies were dead and Angi reigned supreme as the Queen of the Apocalypse. (Alive)
Fri: Angi wanted to host a Friendsgiving feast
Choice: Jason had Angi decide to serve her friend's potato salad with raisins.
Result: Seeing as she had a brand new house, Angi decided that throwing a Friendsgiving feast was the perfect way to show it off to all the people she cared about. Going through her rolodex, Angi was able to pull together quite a crowd of friends, influencers, celebrities and work people she hated but had to pretend to like. With everyone gathered and enjoying wine, Jack Daniels and Jay the Straight's art gallery spare bedroom, Angi started to serve the dishes she had DoorDashed and then pretended to prepare. As she was playing down a heaping dish of potato salad with raisins in it, the front door of her new house suddenly swung open. Standing in the doorway was none other than Jared Leto, lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars and dressed like The Joker from his failed Suicide Squad movie. Angi was beside herself that Jared decided to show up at her silly little gathering but that all was swept away as he surveyed the room. Ignoring the guests, his eyes darted toward the disgusting potato salad with raisins. Enraged that Angi would bring such a monstrosity of gross to a festival of friends, Jared Leto reached into his bag and revealed several Joker Happy Laughing Gas grenades. He tossed them into the room and stood by as everyone, including Angi, started to suffocate as the room filled with gas. Within minutes, everyone at Friendsgiving was dead and Jared Leto was scaling Angi's house to promote his new album. (Dead)
Request Wars 3.0
Champion: Angi (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Fat Lip” by Sum 41
Marris' Song Choice: "Twisted Transistor" by KoЯn
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Marris
We capped off this early birthday celebration show by stuffing the inferno of a studio (seriously, it's 800 degrees in there) to the brim with people who love Marris and wanted to celebrate him.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"What do you (Angi) want me to walk around with two phones?" - Marris
"That's sexy, a burner for the bitches on the side." - Angi
"If you're doing a friendsgiving this year and invite that hobgoblin Taylor to the party, you'd better hide the coleslaw because she's known to hob your hubby's knob in a vat of slaw." - Minn Barb