Airplane Etiquette - ATS - 12.1.23

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Well it's December and we are soaked, which is a much better alternative than being covered in the dreaded "s" word (I will not speak that curse aloud, I do not want to be covered in white!) However, it is also Chainsaw Friday so that kind of offsets all the messiness of outside and it also means that it's the perfect kind of weather to get the rest of the holiday decorations up. As always though, Angi has stepped up her special abilities and turned into everyone's favorite holiday character Angi the Grinch this morning. See, deep down inside she wishes she could go more than a couple of days a week without complaining about her neighbors but the darkness in her cold tiny heart makes that impossible. As noted plenty lately, she has a new house and new neighbors. One of them is a good one as he runs a pigeon gambling ring and Angi wants to buy a pigeon and race it during the Spring/Summer. For this reason, he is off the hit list but on it now is the neighbor directly across the street who had the audacity to put up inflatables in his front yard. Angi the Grinch (not to be confused with Angi Taylor, who is also the same person) hates Christmas, fun and happiness. It's for this reason that she had to complain about how inflatables are gross and ratchet. That 6 foot tall Frosty the Snowman is probably getting splashed by passing cars and looks like dirty snow a few days into it being out. She also feels that they look lazy and there is no effort being put forth to decorate with them. She went to Marris for input but he was indifferent as he's not decorating so he doesn't care. Angi then suggested that she too doesn't care and won't make a protest of it, she'll just go on the show and tell all of the roadies how much she hates it. Marris though saw through the Grinch and suggested that perhaps the inflatables might get unplugged or maybe shived. Angi the Grinch explained she's not "that" ruthless and her protest will be done from the couch. That said, she's not beyond offering Marris some cash to slide on a mask and take the winter horror show out. Angi had to know though if all this was festive and she was just being the Grinch (she is) or is it really tacky and she's justified in her ire. A poll was put up on all our socials and she also surveyed the room. Prison Tattoo says that they're tacky and HP (Hot Potato) thinks they're cute. HP did say though that she has never seen dirty ones and if they existed into say February, she would egg that house. Personally, I'm indifferent to it all and feel like it could go either way. We capped this by exploring cleaning these things with Angi suggesting they get hosed down when dirty. You know, water goes so well in frigid temps and that's not even considering the mud piles it would make. Marris suggested taking them to the laundromat to alleviate the stains. I think Angi should just get her blinds put up and go back to ignoring the world outside once she can no longer see it.

Other Stuff from Today's Show:

Sometimes we get a Daily Discussion Topic on Friday's, sometimes we don't but on those lucky days when we do (like today,) we find out something incredible. A woman with a blog recently posted that a certain pet name for a partner can basically kill your sex life. That nickname combo is one that tends to get thrown around alot "mom/dad" or "mommy/daddy." Apparently, the minute you start to use those names for each other, the desire to have sex with them dies. Of course, we had to see if Marris had any pet names for his ex's and he did not disappoint. There was "Puzzles" because she was really good at puzzles. For the record, she thought the nickname was cute but Angi dragged Marris for having the driest bedroom in the world. Marris also called a girl "Pebbles" because she had a fascination with penguins and they gave pebbles to their mate. On second thought, maybe Angi is on to something with her dry bedroom thought. Speaking of which, Angi doesn't have a pet name for Jay the Straight and just tends to call him babe and vice versa. I mean, I'm sure she calls him other things but I try to keep these notes safe for work. Anyway, onward we go to the Request Line where we heard first from Marianne whose nickname for her husband is "Trouble" and her nickname from him is "Sugarpop." The pair have been married for 21 years and on their 20th anniversary, they got each other's nicknames tattooed on themselves. Ken calls his partner "Angel" and she calls him "Daddy." He apparently has no problem getting it in though. Kyle called in to say he calls his boyfriend "Chocolate Thunder." Oh wait, that's not anyone, that is Marris and Kyle is his close friend (such fun radio pranks.) We were able to discover that Marris is called "Chocolate Thunder" and Kyle is "White Lightning" because they once told Hooters waitresses that they are male strippers and those were their stage names. Before Kyle could reveal more though, he was sent right to hold to save Marris from Angi getting more ammo against him. Heather called to say she calls her husband "Bohunk" and he calls her "Sugartits." We capped this by returning to Marris' "Chocolate Thunder" story to find out that even though the girls at Hooters went nuts, neither of the boys took them home. LAME!!! If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

Onward to another day that ends in "day" and an excuse for Angi to smack talk us Android boys once again. The discussion centered around group text etiquette but before getting to the tips, we discussed group texts themselves. 3 is the perfect number and if you're touching like 20, you're a serial killer. The thing is in that instance you get one uppers. Angi is the topper who always has to be one upping people (crappy life poker anyone?) Anyway, on to the list because I want to go relax and these notes are long.

- Don't add too many people. The max should be six and should not go over twelve. Marris' biggest is at five and they are all still trying to outdo each other. More people also breed side conversations continuing in chat or in Angi's case, a separate thread to talk ish.

- Any new additions must be approved by the group. This is especially true of a long standing group.

- Respond whenever you want. Angi feels compelled to jump in and Marris will go back and catch up. There should be a 48 hour grace period for it. (If it's a work email though, it's 24 hours as Angi learned after getting yelled at the other day.)

- Making fun of Android users is allowed. Even though it should be noted it's Apple's fault for the green nightmare, goof on the scarlet letter. Angi attempted to compare green texts to McDonald's and Burger King in a comparison that fell flat. She did add though that our green texts ruin her.

- Limit the amount of memes to no more than four in a small window. Angi and Marris do not agree, they love meme battles.

- Never respond with just "Ha." Marris got called out here and he explained his struggle with social cues and wanting to be a fixer. Sometimes you just need to listen and let it be.

- If it's a work related group chat, no texting on weekends. This does not count for our group chat which is more about Khalessi's tits than stuff for the show.

Finally, the holidays are upon us which means air travel will be happening. Here's a peek at what to maybe not do (or do) on a plane as air travel, weddings and death bring out the worst in people. On a recent flight, it went from screen time to scream time when a woman got mad at a passenger for watching Deadpool 2. The guy in question took to Reddit's Am I the A-Hole subreddit to ask if he was in the wrong for watching it with headphones in on the plane. It was the scene where Deadpool got ripped in half and he heard a scream. Apparently the kid behind him was crying because he had squeezed his face between the seats to watch the movie. The guy watching it did not know he was spying and then when the kid freaked, the mom freaked. She yelled about watching the movie in front of kids but he didn't know and he yelled back about her not watching her kid. Like, why didn't the kid have his iPad, why was the mother letting him smoosh his face to watch basically the whole movie. Marris played both sides here and said that he should have not been watching the movie on the plane but also the mom should have been paying attention. Angi, the rebel, said if she wants to watch 50 Shades of Grey, why couldn't she. It became a matter of keeping your eyes on your own paper, which in turn was hilarious as Angi is known to spy on Jay the Straight's texts. Though he wants her to stop, human curiosity prompts her to read texts, read other people's books or watch their shows. What they need to do is screen shield their phones like Angi does to keep everyone out of her stuff even though she gets into theirs. Basically, it's a matter of do what you want and don't worry about others.

Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:

Mon: Angi wanted to prove scientists wrong about Thanksgiving leftovers

Choice: Renee had Angi decide to eat her Goya baked beans.

Result: Even though Thanksgiving had long since passed, Angi was still into the idea of digging up some leftovers out of her frigid. After all, she had forgotten the stuffing on the day of the event and so that had been consumed for a few days after the fact. While rummaging around, Angi ended up stumbling upon a bowl of Goya baked beans. Seeing as they had been showing up in her life so much prior to finding them in the fridge, she decided just to dig in. Spoon after spoon was shoved down Angi's throat and the whole thing actually tasted pretty good, which was good as she figured they would end up tasting awful. Sure, there was a little metallic aftertaste but Angi thought nothing of it as she continued to clear the bowl. With it all finished, Angi moved across her new house but finally started to notice that something was wrong. Her stomach was bubbling and rumbling, it had even started to do somersaults. Her face contorted and turned five shades of green as she made her way to the guest bathroom. Once inside, she turned into the double dragon and there was poop and vomit flying out of both ends. She ended up on the floor as it continued and though it seemed like food poisoning death was going to consume her, it turned out that she was immune to poison because her body was so polluted. After she ended up cleaning up, she got up and decided to go back and see if there were more Goya beans still left. (Alive)

Tue: Angi wanted to be reckless with her body in the cold

Choice: Sunny J had Angi decide to go without her bra.

Result: Reliving her childhood trauma of almost losing an ear to frostbite on the show, Angi was ready to chance fate and test the patience of nature. Taking off her bra outside the studio, Angi wanted to free the nipple but still kept them hidden under her band t-shirt of the day. She threw on her coat and headed out and toward the Red Line. Once on the platform and realizing that it would take thirty minutes for a train to arrive, Angi tossed her coat aside and was immediately embraced by the cold. In fact, the cold was not only attached to her nipples but also the rest of her body. The chill rode all over her and covered her in bits of cold, ice and frost. She was starting to actually turn into a block of ice but the frostbite she expected to come was not happening. Annoyed, Angi attempted to move forward but finally realized that she was actually frozen solid. Ice block Angi tumbled forward onto the tracks and was able to see that her train was finally coming. It seemed like the end was bound for her because she was still ice but fate intervened in that her shifting body weight had pushed her onto the third rail. The electricity surged forward and it balanced itself against the ice, causing Angi to break free from her frozen tomb. With that, she was able to get off the tracks and away from the train, allowing her to live yet another day. (Alive)

Wed: Angi wanted to check out Ninja Turtle porn

Choice: Tom had Angi decide to watch Lita the Ninja Turtle porn.

Result: Realizing that she had burned every porn bridge that she could think of, Angi decided to finally break into the world of animal sex. Well, she wasn't about to get too deep into it but she did want to see some nasty turtle sex. After heading home from the show, Angi plopped down on the couch and turned on Lita Loves Michelangelo. Pulling out her notebook and a glass of wine, Angi analyzed everything she could about the mating ritual of Marris' best friends. As she watched, Angi began to realize that she was essentially watching Planet Earth with porn. Lita the turtle ended up on her back and unable to flip over, Michelangelo went to town. With hilariously squeaky sounds coming from the TV, Angi found herself more disgusted than turned on by what she was witnessing. Deciding she had enough of this foray into folly, Angi went to turn off the TV as the door to her duplex suddenly swung open. Before her stood Marris, who was so upset that Angi was objectifying his favorite species that in his eyes, she was a criminal. As everyone knows though, Ninja Turtles fight crime and so Marris revealed a pair of autographed nunchucks. Before Angi could say anything, Marris proceeded to beat Angi to death with the heavy sticks. (Dead)

Thur: Angi wanted to have a way back experience

Choice: Zack had Angi decide to use an outhouse.

Result: Clearly never learning her lesson from other times she decided to incorporate show elements into her life, Angi decided that putting an outhouse in her yard would be a good idea. Though it did look out of place with her newly built duplex, Angi was okay with it because it would allow her to indulge in a throwback impulse that existed for reasons even she forgot after it was built. Still, it was there and she figured she would end up using it at some point. That time was at 1:30 A.M. when she woke up coughing from her sleep apnea and she realized she had to pee. Figuring it would be the perfect time to try out the outhouse, Angi slipped on her nightgown and made her way to the yard. It was quite dark outside though so she had to feel around to enter the wooden shack. Once inside, she found that it was a lot grosser than she imagined and for some reason, the floors were wet. Feeling around, she felt wood, steel and feathers? As she touched things in the pitch black, she also felt something move and that was when she finally heard it. There was a sudden rush of noise, it was birds but more specifically pigeons. In her inability to see, Angi had accidentally stumbled into the bird house next door and not her own outhouse. However, things only got worse as the pigeons sensed an intruder and were on her at once, pecking and clawing her until she collapsed on the floor sliced open and bleeding out everywhere. (Dead)

Fri: Angi wanted to put a Christmas inflatable in her front yard.

Choice: Dawn had Angi decide to put up a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer inflatable.

Result: Going against her better judgement yet again, Angi decided to take a show topic home with her. After complaining and hating on inflatable Christmas yard decorations, Angi decided to attempt putting one up herself to see if her hate was justified. Seeing as Christmas was weeks away, the only one that Angi could find was a Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer inflatable so she bought six of them from the store. Running around her front yard, Angi placed the balloon animals down and turned them on. They blew in the wind, glowed and added a really festive feel to her yard. Perhaps she had been wrong about inflatables and that came to fruition when all the neighbors started to stop by. They complimented Angi on her inflatables, how fun the yard looked and that she was so engulfed in the holiday spirit. All this praise caused her heart to grow three times its size and feeling all warm, Angi went back into the house. However, all of this was bringing more attention than she actually probably wanted and that came to a head with a knock at the door. When Angi opened it, none other than Frosty the Snowman stood before her. "Happy Birthday!" he yelled at her before revealing a shotgun. Without another word, Frosty unleashed the trigger and caused Angi's head to explode like one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)

Request Wars 3.0

Champion: Marris (1x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry

Marris' Song Choice: "Lit Up" by Buckcherry

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: Jeremy Allen White

The star of The Bear and friend of the show is dating hot as hell singer Rosalía which means that Chocolate Thunder might not have a shot with her but at least someone we like is getting to hit that hot piece.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"How are you going to spend money on condoms but not buy ChapStick?" - Marris

"There is one used thing that people do not want, it's that rode hard and put away dusty Trashbag Angi Taylor." - Minn Barb